Books, magazines, and movies

Title: Remembrance book ‘Cherish, carried with love’
Author: Linda Schra

This book is for parents who have lost their baby during pregnancy, birth, or shortly thereafter.
It is a book with a number of questions that make you consciously reflect on the pregnancy, the loss, but also on the moments of cherishment. What you can fill with your precious memories and what you want to press against your heart to cherish them.
In which you can write your sadness when tears are streaming down your cheeks from sadness. But also when your heart is warmed with memories of love. There is also plenty of room to write your own story. There are poems and quotes in it and there is room for echoes, photos, cards, for example. A book to keep forever.
The book is also given as a gift as a token of love and support to parents who have lost their baby.

Title: Sterrenliefs
Author: Riëlle Groenewold

The book of friends for a star child is a fill-in-the-blank book for a child who is no longer with us. There is room for the parent(s) to tell something about the pregnancy, the delivery, but also about the death and the farewell. In addition, photos and other memories can be shared.
But relatives of the parents and the child can also share their experiences and feelings.
In this way, the book can not only be very valuable for the parents, but also for the people around them.
Because it is precisely by sharing in loss that the grief does not become less, but more bearable.

Title: Loving remembrance book
Author: Renée Brouwer

Every star child deserves his or her own story. Including your children. Still, it can be quite difficult to write it down. Because where do you start? And how do you tell them that despite the great sadness and pain, you are also very proud of your deceased children? With this fill-in-the-blank book, you can do it step by step.
Give all the ultrasounds you have a nice place, stick in pictures and write about your children with the help of a lot of open questions. Tell them how much they mean to you and make your own valuable tribute to your dear children.

Title: Now You Gotta Go
Author: Ann Lust
Illustrator: Marta del Moral Arroyo

‘Now you have to go’ is a picture book about stillborn babies and star children. A book without words with touching illustrations and space for your own text, photo or drawing. A book to mourn and remember gratefully.

Can be ordered via www.numoetjegaan.com

Title: Shadow Friends
Author: Anne Knook
Illustrator: Corine de Man

Shadow Friends is a valuable and practical picture book aimed at children who have to miss a brother or sister. On the back it says: About losing and never forgetting.

Vera and Sam are best friends. They had a nice day at school and are going to play with each other afterwards. While they’re having a drink, Sam sees a tear on Vera’s cheek. How can that happen so suddenly?
In this book you will find out that it is quite normal that you sometimes suddenly think of someone you miss. And you discover, just like Vera and Sam, that grief and love have a lot to do with each other.
In the book, the metaphor of mourning as shadow (developed by emeritus professor of loss Manu Keirse) is clearly brought into the world of children through examples and colorful pictures. In addition, there is a reading guide in Shadow Friends with do-it-yourself and discussion assignments, developed by the author, who is also a healthcare psychologist. The book explains to children how grief and loss are intertwined in life and can be used by parents, teachers and social workers.

Title: Baby in the clouds
Author: Wanda Ottens
Illustrator: Inge Adema

Child in the clouds is a picture book that uses beautiful colorful pictures to tell that sometimes a child does not stay alive and goes to the clouds. From the clouds, the child can look at us, color rainbows and send sunbeams. Children in the clouds are always part of it and will never be forgotten.
For more information: www.kindjeindewolken.nl

Title: My little brother is a superhero
Author: Ramon van Loon
Illustrator: Daniella van Vlimmeren

This booklet is written for single-born twins, their family members and caregivers to support them in coping with the loss of a twin sibling. The story can be helpful to start a conversation with children in an accessible way when the time is right. A visual explanation is given about how a deceased twin brother or sister is always close by. It’s a story with appropriate illustrations to keep precious, priceless memories alive.

More information and ordering can be done via: www.mijnbroertjeiseensuperheld.nl

Title: Liv!
Author: Nicole in ‘t Zand
Illustrator: Niels van den Berghe

Saar has been waiting for her little sister for a while. She is very happy when Liv finally arrives. She is not allowed to see her yet because Liv has become very ill…. Saar sees that everyone around her is sad but she doesn’t understand it, Liv is here now, right? When Liv dies, it is completely incomprehensible to Saar. They have to say goodbye, but what is that exactly?

Title: My Little Big Sister and My Little Big Brother
Author: Sanne Ovaere
Illustrator: Sofie Buydens

A beautiful hardcover book for the little ones. It tells in a soft, light-hearted and childlike way about how a big brother in the clouds plays a role in the life of a little brother. My Little Big Brother/Sister is written in rhyme and contains imaginative, funny illustrations of how little big brother/sister secretly lends a hand or shows his presence in small characters. Due to its sturdy design and fun pictures, it is ideally suited for children from 1 to 6 years old.

Title: Ono, a special brother
Author: Hannelore Waeles
Illustrator: Sara Gerard

“Ilo is very much looking forward to the birth of the baby in mommy’s belly. He longs so much to play with his little brother. But at birth, Ono turns out to be a very special brother. A little brother who never cries and you can’t play with. Ono is dead. After a short, sad, but pleasant time at home, there is a party for Ono. Then, suddenly, he’s gone. Where? Ilo goes in search of…”

Ono, a special brother, can be ordered here .

Title: The Question of Duck
Author: Leen van den Berg
Illustrator: Ann Ingelbeen

Where do you go when you’re dead? That’s duck’s question. It’s an important question because duck recently lost her chick and her grief is great and endless. Everyone she meets has their own answer to the question that occupies her.

Title: Bed in the clouds
Author: Birgit Vandermeulen
Illustrator: Iris Boter

When Joep’s sister Maike is born prematurely in the spring, it turns out that she can only live for a short time. Very soon dad, mom and Joep have to say goodbye to her. They give Maike a thousand kisses and stroke her head. ‘You are my dear sister’, says Joep, ‘and I will never forget you’.
A richly illustrated picture book that offers help with the process of loss and processing in the sudden death of a brother or sister in a family.

Title: To Never Be Forgotten
Author: Linda Klein
Illustrator: Nynke Mare Talsma

“Imme,” Mom says, “Stippel died.” Imme is shocked. ‘Stippel wasn’t old at all!’ Mom sighs. “Not everyone dies until they’re old.” Imme is silent for a moment. ‘Lotte wasn’t old either, but grandpa was. I’ll never forget them.”

Title: The Golden Ball
Author: Kristien Dieltiens
Illustrator: Seppe Van den Berghe

Somewhere far away, but at the same time close by, lives a child. It is very happy, until it loses its golden ball. It goes to earth to look for the ball and is born there as a human child. The child grows up with his parents, but one day he finds his ball and returns to where he came from. The mother and the father only feel sadness. When they see that the sky has taken on a different radiance, a new warmth comes very slowly to their hearts.
Reissue with new illustrations of a special story about farewell and loss, but at the same time about the happiness of being human. For everyone from 5 years old.

Title: A Box Full of Memories
Author: Marlien Crooijmans

Little Bear is getting a little sister, he’s really looking forward to that! But moments later, he learns that baby Bel has died. Everyone is sad, and it’s time to say goodbye. Little Bear wants to keep memories of his sister, but how do you collect memories of someone who hasn’t grown old? Fortunately, after a visit to grandma, Little Bear comes up with a good idea.
A warm picture book that can offer comfort to families who lose a child.

Title: Frog and the Bird
Author: Max Velthuijs

At the edge of the forest lies a bird. “Look,” says Frog, “broken. He doesn’t do it anymore. “He’s asleep,” says piggy. But hare says, “He’s dead. “Dead?” Frog asks. “What’s that?”
Frog has found a bird: he brings in Pig and Duck and Hare also join the group. The latter concludes that the bird is dead and philosophizes: ‘Everyone dies’. The animals bury the bird and then playfully proceed to the order of the day. A beautiful picture book with watercolors in color and a text, which is excellent for reading to young children.

Title: My sister is a starlet
Author: Richard van Lingen and Marjet van der Linde

Peter is happy. His mom is expecting a baby and 4-year-old Peter is allowed to help prepare the baby’s room. But then his sister is born prematurely. Inge is in the hospital with all kinds of tubes; She is very ill and after a few days she dies. Everyone is very sad, although it is hard for Peter to imagine. When will they be able to pick up Inge again? Nicely described story about how to deal with grief in a family. Good to use at school and at home to discuss such a loss with young children. Saying goodbye at home and the funeral are also discussed, with all the adults sad and silent, but the children are allowed to dance and sing. With simple, lovely illustrations in soft colors, which go well with the text. Usable edition. The author is a pediatrician-neonatologist. He wrote this story because he received a lot of questions from parents in his professional practice, and there turned out to be no book for this age group that deals with the subject from a non-religious approach.

Title: Goodbye sweet mouse
Author: Dreamhunter

Woezel and Pip run through the forest. They look for chestnuts. Woezel’s backpack is almost completely full. “Oh, there’s something there, Pip,” he shouts, pointing ahead. There’s something in the shade of an old oak tree. It’s Little Mouse. He lies very still. Even his whiskers don’t move. Sensitive and accessible picture book about losing a loved one and saying goodbye within the safe and familiar world of the Magic Garden.

Title: The hedgehog under the old tree
Author: Christianne van Dooijewaard

Hedgehog was born on a beautiful winter’s day. Mum and dad hedgehog were very happy with their baby. Hedgehog grew a lot and he got strong spines. But after a few months, mama hedgehog started to get worried. Hedgehog didn’t play like the other hedgehogs and his spines seemed to be getting weaker.
When doctor examined the hedgehog, it soon became clear that the hedgehog was very ill and would not get better. And when the summer was coming to an end, Daddy and Mama Hedgehog said goodbye, they buried their child under the fat old tree, in the spot where he had so often lain looking at the leaves.
Christianne van Dooijewaard drew on her own experience when writing ‘The hedgehog under the old tree’. She succeeds in putting the disease process and grief into words emotionally convincingly for young children.

The drawings by Steffie Padmos support the subdued atmosphere of the text. She portrays hedgehog through the seasons in a way that moves.

Title: Stardust
Author: Robert and Monique Lentelink

Stardust is about a girl who has a little brother, but who dies at birth. When her father explains to her that her little brother is going to be a starlet, the girl wonders how that is possible. That’s why her father talks about the star factory.

Stardust gives parents and their child(ren) a handle to learn how to deal with the loss of a brother or sister. Stardust is meant to offer children support and explain how a deceased brother or sister is always around you. Stardust can help you cope with the loss of a sibling. At the same time, it’s a beautiful story to keep a precious memory alive.

Title: You’ve lost your baby… What’s next?
Author: Leonie Nuijen

You’ve lost your baby… What’s next?
Mourning your deceased baby involves more than saying goodbye and learning to deal with the loss. You have to learn to live without your baby and allow yourself to be happy (again). This book contains tips and insights that can help you and your loved ones with this.
Also available as an e-book.

Title: Helping with Loss and Grief (Completely New Edition)
Author: Manu Keirse

Helping with loss and grief has been the basic book on bereavement for many years. Twenty years after the publication of the first edition, a completely new edition is now being published, with attention to new themes such as hidden loss and online mourning and a long chapter on “Pregnancy and loss” and a chapter on “When giving birth becomes laying out”. Using many recognizable examples, Manu Keirse shows how mourning is not about saying goodbye, but about learning to hold on differently. The countless concrete tips for the grieving person and those around him also make Helping with Loss and Grief a very practical book. Indispensable for anyone who is confronted with loss.

Title: Fingerprint of grief
Author: Manu Keirse

Fingerprint of grief is a precious gift for another person or for yourself. It is a booklet that you should give to anyone who loses a child, a sibling, a partner, a parent, a friend, or a dream. It is written not only for those who are struggling themselves, but also for family members, friends and colleagues from whom they expect support on their difficult journey to renewed life. It’s not a book about death. It is a book about life, about the emotional life of someone who is confronted with the loss of a loved one. It is not meant to be read in one sitting, or to be read once and put away, but to be picked up again and again.

Title: Unexpected
Author: Sanne van der Hout

In Unexpected, Sanne van der Hout describes how, after a disturbing prenatal screening result, she and her partner ended up in
A medical process that ultimately resulted in the death of their unborn child. She talks to social workers and parents
on topics that are important for the entire practice of prenatal screening: How can care providers help pregnant women and their partners to oversee the scope of their choices? And: What makes bereavement in pregnancy loss so complicated?

Through the combination of personal and professional observations, this book provides a unique insight into the vulnerabilities of contemporary prenatal screening practices. In this way, the book not only offers support to parents, but is also relevant for care providers working in pregnancy and birth care.

Sanne van der Hout is an ethicist in the field of reproductive screening and works as an assistant professor at Maastricht University.

Title: When the Man Loses
Author: Tim Overdiek

“I’m not ashamed of my tears. I owe that to my mother,’ says Humberto Tan candidly in When the Man Loses. A confession, because how many men still swallow their tears when faced with great loss? You have to be strong, right? Experience shows that men often deal with great grief differently than women. They are inclined to talk, they seek support from each other or help from a psychologist. For a man, nothing is more frustrating than the loss of control. Many a man falls back on destructive behavior. Isolation is lurking, with suicide as the ultimate consequence. How can this be prevented? Wim van Lent and Tim Overdiek specialize in the treatment of grief in men. They wrote a book full of valuable lessons and insights, based on their rich experience with men who have been felled by adversity. In addition, they interviewed well-known Dutch men, who talk candidly about their experiences: in addition to Humberto Tan about the death of his two brothers, Douwe Bob about his heartbreak, Ahmed Marcouch about his abandoned motherland, A.F.Th. van der Heijden about his son who died in an accident and Falko Zandstra about the pain of an imminent bankruptcy. When the Man Loses is a gripping and insightful book, for both men and women. Wim van Lent (1958) is a therapist and co-owner of Opleidingen Land van Rouw. His practice De Mannenboom is located in Nijmegen. Tim Overdiek (1965) is a writer and therapeutic coach. He was a journalist for many years, including for NOS News. He lost his father at the age of thirteen and his wife Jennifer died in 2009. He wrote Tears of Love about it.

Title: Little Brother Dead
Author: Jelte Krijnsen

Jelte has a brother. One. Until he discovers that there was once another, Peter. But no one talks about this youngest brother, who only lived a few hours. Peter was born a cyclops and was therefore not only a hopeless child, but also a monstrous rarity that had better be hidden from view as soon as possible. It wasn’t until he was an adult and accompanied tours in Greece that Jelte suddenly realized what the brief presence of his baby brother had done to the whole family all these years: the loss, the silence, the traumas, the disturbed relationships. He embarks on a quest that slowly turns into a crusade: first on the road to Peter’s whole story, then on the hunt for recognition of his short existence and of the fact that he was not a monster, but an innocent, welcome little boy. Little Brother Dead is a tribute from a big brother to a little one, whom he has never seen, but has a lifetime in his mind.

Title: Sara and Liv
Author: Suzan Hilhorst

Sara and Liv is the poignant portrait of the short lives of two sisters and the impact their deaths have had on the family. Written in a beautiful, tranquil style and from the special alternating perspective of mother and child, Suzan Hilhorst tells her autobiographical story. Sara and Liv is a more than impressive debut about loss, mourning, hope and happiness and above all an ode to life.

Title: Grieving after the loss of your baby
Author: Kathy Beckers Mansell

The death of a baby is experienced as shocking in our society, but only with short-term grief as a result, because parents would hardly know their child. But as a parent, you also lose a part of yourself and your baby’s future. There is an abiding longing for what it would have been like. The loss is lifelong and has a major impact on the lives of the parents and any siblings. The treatment of professionals and the parents’ immediate environment is crucial in dealing with the loss. The mission of this book is to contribute to the recognition of the meaningful loss of a baby. Parents, professionals and those around you alike will feel supported after reading Grieving After the Loss of Your Baby.

Title: Silent Babies
Author: Christine Geerinck-Vercammen

The loss of a child, even if it dies before or during birth, marks the lives of parents forever. This book aims to offer help with such a grieving process. Christine Geerinck-Vercammen discusses the theoretical and medical aspects, but mainly discusses the psychosocial processing of loss, childbirth and saying goodbye. The question of how the parents are doing in the short and long term, also in connection with a subsequent pregnancy, is also discussed.

Title: It mourns in you
Author: Christine Vandenhole

It Grieves in You is a warm book full of insights and honest testimonies; Recognizable for parents of a deceased child. There is room for sadness, a lot of understanding and recognition, but also hope. For family, friends and environment, this book is full of valuable tips and practical checklists.

Grief in your relationship, at work, in your family. The role of grieving grandparents, dealing with grieving siblings, getting pregnant (or not) again… All difficult themes are covered. In this way, The Mourning in You tries to offer something to hold on to at a time when there seems to be no more support.

• For anyone who has to deal with the loss of a child.
• Supplemented with honest testimonies.
• Accessible and relatable, full of comfort, support and hope.

Title: Always a child too short
Author: Jeannette Rietberg
Other people involved: Maria Pel

Women who are pregnant or want to become pregnant after the loss of their baby have to deal with the confrontation between the still recent experience of death and the experience of new life. In their situation, it is difficult to identify with the group of pregnant women who do not have this experience. This handbook covers the different phases: getting pregnant, being pregnant, childbirth, and parenthood afterwards. Good information helps the mother regain confidence in herself, in her body and in medical care. Social workers also gain insight into the specific problems of these women by offering guidelines for better professional guidance.

Title: And silence was the answer
Author: Anneke Avis

“After I gave birth, there was nothing. No casket, no funeral, nothing to remind him of. Nowadays people have a place, but I don’t have a place.” Sweater Verwers.

For ‘And silence was the answer’, Anneke Avis interviewed mothers and fathers who lost a child around birth in the period 1945-1970. The parents talk about how, against the backdrop of the post-war years, they experienced the loss of their baby. The best thing to do was to carry on as if nothing had happened, doctors, family and environment thought. There was hardly any room for mourning and grief. Unbelievable now, very common at the time. What was medical care like at that time? Doctors and midwives talk about the fate of these children and how psychosocial care made its appearance in obstetrics and neonatology, where previously only medical-somatic expertise counted. The stories show how mothers and fathers carry this drastic event with them throughout their lives, sometimes with far-reaching consequences.

Title: If you lose your baby during pregnancy
Author: Miriam van Kreij

This unique book is for you if you have lost a child during pregnancy. No matter how early, no matter how long ago. Maybe it was a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy or an abortion. You may ask yourself: how can I move on after such a loss? The impact of loss can be significant and is often underestimated.

That’s why this beautifully designed workbook is here, full of beautiful poems, inviting questions and accessible suggestions. You can fill it in alone or together with your partner. This is how you turn it into a precious and personal book of preservation.

On www.miskraambegeleiding.nl , you can find valuable downloads for free, such as a list of songs that can provide comfort and support.

Title: Counselling of women with a miscarriage
Author: Miriam van Kreij

When a woman loses her early pregnancy, she often doesn’t know how to process that experience properly. Then the midwife or sonographer has an important role. But how do you, as a social worker, properly guide women with a miscarriage or abortion in the psychologically emotional field?
This valuable book can help you with that, it is full of practical tips, practical examples, experience stories, step-by-step plans and checklists.

Title: Counselling after an aborted pregnancy or abortion
Author: Miriam van Kreij

What do you really help women and partners with?
What can you do, even if the abortion was longer ago?
How can you, as a professional, deal with this sensitive subject?

In the Netherlands, there are 30,000 abortions every year. In Belgium, 18,000. An abortion can have a lot of impact on the woman, her relationship, her work, her family, her health. Even years later.

Because of the great taboo surrounding abortion, there is a lot of hidden sadness. As a professional, it is important to pay attention to abortion and the impact that a termination can have later on.

This book offers many experience stories, checklists and tips.

Title: It’s raining in my future
Author: Maria de Greef

When a grandchild dies, grandparents suffer doubly: they mourn the loss of their grandchild, and feel the pain for their child. A book full of recognition for grandparents who had to go through this.

When a child dies or is born dead after a pregnancy, the grief is unimaginable. For the parents, this loss is profoundly profound, but it also affects grandparents very deeply. To support their own child, they often put their own grief aside.
In her work as a grief therapist, Maria de Greef met so many grandparents who did not feel known and heard in their grief that she decided to make this book. She interviewed grandfathers and grandmothers who lost a grandchild. It became a book full of landmarks. The stories offer insight into the difficult process of being left empty-handed, but also allow the reader to share in the warmth and comfort that can be found in families. Many grandparents recognize themselves in the interviews. “How nice that our grief and loss has now also received attention” is a frequently heard reaction.

Maria de Greef is a professional in bereavement care. In addition to grief therapy, she provides education and advice on coping with loss. She has previously published articles in various funeral and occupational health and safety journals.

Title: Sigur, for even and forever
Author: Rimke van der Geest

It’s a wonderful feeling when Sigur slips out of my belly. Even more amazing is the sight of Sigur when the gynecologist holds him up. How long he is! How is it possible that this has fitted? They put it on my stomach. I don’t notice that Sigur is blue and flabby. I’m not worried about anything. I never did that as a Sunday child.

This is the poignant story of a little boy who lived to be sixteen days old, and of the people who had waited nine months for him. As sad as it is loving, Sigur’s brief presence on earth marks the lives of his parents and other family members. He was there for a while, and yet he is always there.
For more information: www.kleineastronaut.nl

Title: There’s bound to be a new brother
Author: Astrid Reus

“The paramedics are about to walk down the stairs with you, but they change their mind and come back so I can give you a kiss before you go to the hospital. If I knew then what I know now, I would have held you close to me the whole time you were at home and only let you go when the paramedics came to get you.”

There will probably be a new brother is a book that begins with the story of the short life of the newborn Sem, a boy with a rare serious illness. His mother takes you on the roller coaster of hope and fear, joy and sorrow. A small breeze picks up, the wind blows harder and harder and eventually the wind blows so hard that the dream of a future with the four of us slowly evaporates. A heavy storm that leaves its mark indelible, but after rain always comes sunshine, doesn’t it?

Half of the proceeds of this book will be donated to Steunpunt Nova, Stichting Félice and Stichting Make a Memory. You can order the book on the website of Nieuw broertje.

Title: Blood Tie
Author: Ellen Oosterom

“Blood Tie is a story about the place in the family I grew up in. The title refers to my parents, my own children and my two brothers. One died a few days after his birth in a maternity hospital, the other was my stem cell donor when I was diagnosed with leukemia in 2008. Blood Bond is a hopeful story with themes of loyalty, vulnerability, love and resilience.”

“When my parents lost their first child in the 1960s, there was hardly any attention for grief counseling and bereavement. That had an impact on the family I grew up in. The fact that my brother died unbaptized made it even more painful for my parents. My own illness in 2008 acted as a magnifying glass through which family patterns became clearly visible. I wrote this book because I couldn’t imagine that I was the only one struggling with the loss of an older, unknown brother. I find it special and typical that this summer another book was published about the loss of a brother and its influence on the family: ‘Broertje Dood’ by Jelte Krijnsen. Recently, ‘Schemerleven’ by Jaap Robben was published about the concealed grief of a deceased child. Apparently, this vulnerable theme is alive and well.”

Title: Mama, take your eyes still
Author: Mirjam van Es

In 2017, Mirjam became a mother for the second time. She and her partner are already proud parents of a daughter. However, things go wrong during the pregnancy and their second child, a son, dies before birth. Mirjam writes in a penetrating and sincere way about the period surrounding death, birth and the years afterwards.

Resilience, respect, love and the raw side of mourning are highlighted in the life that follows. Mirjam’s story depicts the struggle between life and death and shows that stillborn children are still there.

Mirjam’s personal story is for anyone who has to deal with stillborn children themselves or in their own environment. Acknowledgment and recognition for parents who have gone through the same experience.
Also for professionals who, from their profession in healthcare, assistance and funeral industry,
have to deal with this. This book is not about death but about life and about everyone who dares to embrace life in it.

Title: We Are Never Over
Authors: Claudia & Daniel, Sabine, Danique, Marieke, Mariska, Femke, and Martine

They are never over! Every year, more than a thousand children between the ages of 0 and 20 die in our country. Losing your child is the worst nightmare you can experience as a parent. This book contains seven stories of parents for whom this nightmare became a reality. The courageous Claudia & Daniel, Sabine, Danique, Marieke, Mariska, Femke, and Martine take you on the emotional rollercoaster they suddenly found themselves in, and tell you how the loss of their children has changed their lives forever. Writing about Ize, Kester, Livvia, Kyan, Giulia, Dide and Daaf confronted the parents with excruciating pain. But it has also empowered them. They don’t have to let go of their child. The lives of their sweet, tough, wise and handsome children are now immortalized in this book. Let their touching stories conquer a place in your heart too. This book, written so lovingly, gives the children a voice, a face, a history and hopefully also a future. Because their stories can also help other parents who are going through the same nightmare.

Title: Myla
Author: Mathijs Lourens

‘Myla’ is a gripping story about an uncertain period in an ICU department and afterwards. Dad takes you by the hand and takes you on the emotional roller coaster. He tells us how he experienced that time. How he was thrown in at the deep end but no one told him how deep it was. All he could do was keep swimming. For himself, for Myla, for his family.

For caregivers who value Family Centered Care, ‘Myla’ is an excellent opportunity to experience up close how a father experiences such a period. He doesn’t mince his words and talks about his deepest feelings.

In addition, the book is for anyone who wants to support my mission. All proceeds will be donated to the ACD Foundation. He is committed to the research into ACD. No one deserves to be confronted with the uncertainty and powerlessness that this disease brings.

Order: https://stichtingacd.nl/product/stichting-acd-boek/

Title: Maybe You Were Born Today
Author: Yvonne Gebbe and David Rozemeyer

Maybe you were born today… tells the poignant story of a young couple who find out at the 20-week ultrasound that their baby has a serious abnormality. They decide to terminate the pregnancy. They each experience this in their own way. Yvonne by keeping diaries and David as a photographer, visually. A beautiful document about the grieving and coping process of one of the last taboos: the choice to have the pregnancy terminated in the event of an abnormal result.

About sadness, uncertainty, determination, guilt, fear, anger and frustration. But most of all, it’s about love. Love for the stillborn child that will never be forgotten.

Title: Life without, the first year
Author: Juliette Zwaan- Zwagemakers

The first year without Félice is over. It was a tough year. Without her, we experienced all the holidays for the first time and experienced all the seasons. We’ve had all the awkward moments, I think, and even though I don’t know what the future will bring, I do know that I want to end the first year. For a year, I shared stories about my life without Félice. A lot of the stories I wrote, I didn’t share online. To round off the first year, I decided to compile all my stories into a book.

As time goes on, life without Félice starts to become ‘normal’ while I previously thought that would never be possible. Where I was afraid for the first few months that I would never be able to be happy again, I can now say that I am happy again. My first year without Félice was tough. Very, very heavy. It was a year in which I wrote a lot. It had a healing effect on me. One story offers hope, the other is a harsh confrontation with the reality that death is irreversible. There is room for positivity, for joy, for a new life, for a smile but also for a tear.

Title: Florian Is Not Over
Author: Mirjam Louwen – van Bekkum

What if you have twins after two children? What if it turns out that one of the two has Down syndrome? What if he also has multiple abnormalities? What if he dies? What if you suddenly have to arrange a funeral? What if you’re suddenly a grieving mother? I write about the year in which I was able to meet my sweet little boy Florian and say goodbye to him. With my story I hope to be able to mean something to everyone who can get support or comfort from it. Mirjam Louwen-Van Bekkum was already the mother of two lovely children when she turned out to be pregnant with twins. The joy of this turned to sadness when one of the two turned out to be seriously ill and died soon after birth. What such a terrible thing does to yourself and your loved ones is described by Mirjam in a widely read blog. She talks candidly about her feelings of guilt, her frustration with some reactions to Florian’s death and about confusing and contradictory emotions. Because in addition to great sadness, there are also more positive experiences. Mirjam tells the whole story, from the first bad news to the funeral and aftermath. She shows that you can turn immense sadness into a hopeful future.

Title: Hello Girl
Author: Marit Lionheart

“Goodbye girl” tells the personal story of a mother who loses her child at an early stage. The prenatal test shows a high risk of a serious genetic abnormality. The child turns out to have a trisomy 18, a condition that is ‘incompatible with life’. This leads to the decision to terminate the pregnancy and in week 15 a delivery is induced in the hospital. She writes honestly and in a light tone about her experiences, from the first disturbing ultrasound to a year after the death of the child. The booklet is made up of forty separate columns, which deal with the diagnosis, childbirth and farewell, but also about situations from ‘ordinary life’ that suddenly come to be seen in a different light because of this event. She shares her experience of mourning and the love for her child. It is primarily intended for women (and their partners) who are going through a similar grieving process, so that they can hopefully find some recognition or comfort in reading. But other readers will probably also be able to easily relate to the story, which ultimately revolves around love and living with loss.

Title: I Thought You My Child
Author: Casper van Koppenhagen

My beeper rings. It’s an outside line: Lau. ‘Yes, with me: I’m going to the hospital now, just a check-up.’ “What do you mean, check-up?” ‘Well, I don’t feel it as much today and then they are very meticulous.’
“I thought you were your child” is the story of young father Casper who loses his sons Lennard and Simon within a year. In both cases, shortly after their birth. After a period of deep mourning, Casper and his wife Laura try to get pregnant again. Without success. A long journey of survival ensues and in the end they decide to continue together. Directly and without sparing himself, Casper van Koppenhagen describes what he experienced. His account is supplemented with excerpts from the diary of his wife Laura Soudijn. This disarmingly honest and moving book is about desperation and vulnerability, about love and life force. With his story, Van Koppenhagen hopes to offer something to hold on to parents who have lost a child and people who are unwillingly childless. It also affirms the richness of having healthy children. Casper van Koppenhagen is a rehabilitation physician and editor-in-chief of the Dutch Journal of Rehabilitation Medicine. In 2006 he wrote the football thriller “Bram Breedveld, striker of the Dutch national team”. Laura Soudijn is an independent trainer and coach in team development, personal guidance and organizational advice.

Title: Shadow Child
Author: P.F. Thomése

“A woman who buries her husband is called a widow, a man who is left without his wife, a widower. A child without parents is an orphan. But what are the names of the father and mother of a dead child?’
After the death of his daughter Isa, P.F. Thomése found himself in deathly quiet rooms, among inexperienced words, which he had yet to learn to write.
Shadow Child is the breathtaking story of this search for words. An entire life is turned upside down, every meaning has to be reinvented. ‘If she’s still there, it’s in the language.’

Title: Kiss in the Wind
Author: Irene van Wesel

Those who are pregnant live in another world, make a journey through the body to the depths of their being. The contact of a mother with an unborn child is pure love. Even before the pregnancy is a fact, there is an unbridled desire for the baby that is so welcome.

Those who lose a child are torn away from what is so dearly loved, experience a torn heart that only seeks healing when the absolute lowest point has been reached. Days of disbelief, numbness, and bewilderment give way to painful reality. The fact that nothing will ever be the same again, that no plan can go through as imagined and that there will always be a child that no one sees, but who really is. Every dream of the future evaporates in the wind, while your child’s dream is also the only thing left for you as parents. You are literally empty-handed and that hurts a lot.
Nevertheless, the sun rose again in our family, the day we could laugh together and pick up life again. Looking back lovingly with a tear, forward with the valuable insights that our celestial baby Lieve* brought with him.

Irene has also compiled several collections of poems: “Child in my heart” (for Mother’s and Father’s Day) and “Lights full of love” (for World Light Day). The collection of short stories “Liever bij mij” tells the story of 33 parents and couples who lost a child, sometimes several children, during or after pregnancy.

Title: You are known
Author: Floortje Agema

Floortje Agema (1974) is an experienced ritual counsellor. She counsels grieving children and young people and families, works in a mortuary and provides training on loss and grief. She has the gift of giving language to the unnameable. You are known includes stories and poems that Floortje wrote from her heart for children and adults who had to say goodbye, at events that touched her or that simply flowed from her heart’s house. The comforting poems and stories give you something to hold on to when you seek acknowledgment and recognition for what stirs in your heart. The book is enriched with beautiful drawings by Sassafras de Bruyn.

Title: Bundle of Loss
Author: Ellen Ruperti-Ribbers

Bundeltje gemis is a sweet collection of poetry for star parents who have to miss their child. The poetry collection is full of comforting words and recognition. Bundeltje Gemis was created after Ellen’s nephew Josha died one day after his birth. “I started to write off my sadness, but especially the grief of his parents. This eventually resulted in a collection of 34 poems about the sadness, the loss, the powerlessness, the pain and the anger, but especially the love you feel when you lose your child.”

Titel van het boek

HUGO Magazine
After the death of her son Hugo, Hiske Kuilman did not recognize herself at all in all the mommy and baby magazines. She couldn’t relate to stories about breastfeeding, cramps or swaddling. She decided to make her own magazine with stories that are recognizable. A magazine that is not only about the enormous sadness, but also about the love and pride you feel. A magazine in which you will find recognition, comfort and practical tips to survive this loss. You can order Hugo Magazine here .

Titel van het boek

NEL Never Ending Love

A website & glossy full of experiences, advice, inspiration and information by and for the parents of a deceased child – and everyone around them. Because there is so much more than just sadness and love never goes away.

The glossy NEL by Maartje Lute can be ordered here .

Film: Return to zero

Return to Zero is based on a true story. Aaron (Paul Adelstein) and Maggie (Minnie Driver), a successful couple are expecting their first child.
Their lives are destroyed when it turns out that their son died in the womb at the end of the pregnancy. At his funeral, the beautiful, comforting words are spoken: “He was never hungry, he was never cold, he experienced nothing but love.”
http://returntozerothemovie.com/

Film: Pieces of a woman

Martha and Sean, a couple from Boston, are expecting their first child. When the baby is stillborn in the hands of a confused midwife during a home birth, Martha’s life is derailed by deep grief. The event has a heavy impact on both her marriage and her relationship with her domineering mother, who, unlike Martha, wants to start a lawsuit against the midwife.

To be seen on Netflix.

Film: Romeo

Romeo is the story of Anne and Mathijs who are looking forward to the birth of their first child. During the seventh month of pregnancy, the baby turns out not to be viable. They try, each in their own way, to process the incomprehensible. Anne tries to give her dead child a place in her life, while Mathijs tries to banish him from his memory. They become so isolated in their grief that a rift opens up between them.